tick tick tick...BOOM

The time is upon us for school to begin. Teachers return next week and I am definately feeling the pressure. It's been a busy, challenging summer on so many levels. I'm not sure at the end how I am feeling about this one. I think time will tell. Here is an interesting realization that just came up...

When I was in HS I worked at a 711 type store for over 1 1/2 years. I really liked working there and have alot of great memories of coworkers and fun times. I was not a perfect employee by any means, but I certainly wasn't the worst! Eventually I was fired because I refused to work a holiday. I refused because it was at my birthday and I had worked every holiday previous. The manager and several employees told the owner that I should get the day off but he was being a douche. That was my first job and I was fired. I have carried that with me to every job I have had. Including my current one, where I have been for 14years! That situation has kept me on my toes at each subsequent job. BUT is that good? I'm always thinking that no matter how hard I work or how dedicated I am to my job, I will be fired. It's funny that I just realized how much of an impact something had on me over 25 years later! It's really pathetic that I can say over 25 years ago!

This summer I have faced many personal and professional walls. I still keep climbing over. Some people think that those walls are getting higher and higher and if I don't start knocking them down instead of climbing over...i'm going to fall. It's inevitable. I still keep climbing. I can't knock them down, I don't have the confidence or the energy. In that order unfortunately!

After that wah poor me up above, I will give myself a giant pat on the back...I have been consistent with my diet and excercise. The best part is that I have been dancing again. I love to dance and the aerobic dance classes are my favorite. I'm no SYTYCD dancer but I can keep up. It's wonderful and uplifting. I'm going to continue the accolades because I have learned that NO is in my vocabulary when it comes to food (not alcohol...don't worry) and I can go to the gym by myself...i don't like it but I will do it!

My daughter is amazing, as usual. She's still having an awesome summer and I'm completely jealous.

Is school really starting soon???

I can't believe that school is going to be starting soon. It's been quite hectic at the workplace..getting everything ready for the kids. We are in the beginning of a massive remodeling of our middle school and I am in the beginning of a massive remodeling of myself. I am proud to say that I have been working out regularly and will continue to do so. Between my friend jen and my neighbor and linda I have plenty of people to make sure I keep my fat ass in gear and working. I have a plan that I will be back down to "cruise" weight by our spring break trip. Then keep on going to get back to a happy weight after. So maybe next summer I can enjoy it. Now, I've never let the way I look direct me. I still go to the beach etc. but it will be nice to feel totally free. I figure if I could stop biting my fingernails after 40 years, I can do this. Habits are hard to break but I'm going to try my best and thats all I can hope. I will say that I feel great after each class. I've been doing pilates and water aerobics. Last night I did a hip hop class and had the BEST time. I so miss dance classes! I also tried zumba but it was super hard..fun but super hard.

Tay has had a great summer. I never had a summer as good as this kid! She is ready for 7th grade. I can't believe how big my baby is now. She's really starting to turn into a young lady. I helped a friend bring her new baby into the world. It was so nice holding that baby in my arms. Stirred something in me but then reality hit and I remembered they are nice to hold but even nicer to give back to their mommys!

Well i'm off to catch up with all the jersey craziness....the shore, the salon, the housewives..it's all way too good to pass up. TTYL